using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
