For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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