TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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