This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
