He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
