I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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