Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just pee around me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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