literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
