Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
