Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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