that's an acceptable place to lick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
