A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
