Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
