I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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