using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
