he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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