What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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