We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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