I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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