just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
