oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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