Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
