Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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