Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
