Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
