You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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