I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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