This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
