i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
whose ass print is on the piano?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
