This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
