i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
