I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
