Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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