i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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