The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
