sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
