Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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