I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
