It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
