I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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