Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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