fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
