dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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