Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
