Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
