have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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