Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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