I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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