And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
this will be a night to untag.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
