sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Houston, we have a blender
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
