Please, let me fuck your mom
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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