ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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