I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
