Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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