Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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