rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
