I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
