Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
