I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
