dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
