ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize