Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
