i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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