My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
