Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
