Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
